Diary Room

[Luisa Zissman]

~WEEK 3~

Oh my god it's been so long since I've made any confessionals. To be honest I didn't realize you guys were even reading them, so I stopped writing them. Time to catch you up on everything that has happened since the Nathan/Monika evictions.

Immediately following the evictions of Monika and Nathan, Jessica and I became an official pair. I was honestly happy to be paired with Jessica because really she is a major improvement over the incredibly basic Monika and the kinda boring Nathan. I have a really solid relationship, so I felt good about being paired with her, except for the challenge aspect. I knew Jessica was pretty shitty in challenges, and I was like SHIT this HOH is super important! We have to FOCUS and I knew I would have to pull more than my own weight if we had any chance of winning the challenge.

So the HOH challenge comes around, and it's a live challenge that ends up scheduled at a time when I was out for the day (at a Buffalo Bills game <3), so I was completely unable to compete. Luckily, Jessica was able to compete for us. Unfortunately, Jessica was able to compete for us. Because that girl was bad in the HoH competition. No bones about it, she sucked. I love her, but let's just keep it real here. I come back and see the HoH results... that RYAN AND DANIELLE are HOH! *slits wrists* Ryan is the person who just tried to vote me out last week! I'm so fucked!

[Luisa Zissman]

Immediately after Ryan and Danielle won HoH, the shit hit the fan. Like seriously everyone went bat shit insane. Caleb and Heather, my two closest allies, decided to make a big fuss. They basically made a DEMAND on behalf of the house for Matt to be nominated for eviction. They were like SCREAMING about how vile and full of lies Matt is, and how shady as shit he is. I mean, all of this is true and Matt is completely deplorable, BUT GUYS YOU SOUND FUCKING NUTS RIGHT NOW! When I witnessed that house meeting, I was like... OH SHIT I'm aligned with psychopaths! I love both Heather and Caleb to death, but when they threw that house meeting I knew that shit was trouble. I've been playing much more adeptly than them, and they're just kinda trying to throw us into the fire. I'm fucking worried about how they can affect my game now.

So obviously when it came time for nominations, Ryan nominated Caleb and Heather. When you act crazy and start screaming at him, it's like completely obvious that you're going on the block. Nobody was surprised by it, even Heather and Caleb were like "YEAH WE'RE NOMINATED DOESN'T THAT SUCK =/". But, in true Heather and Caleb fashion we still got a super surprising moment. Caleb made this like GRAND SPEECH to everyone, and said that if the pair of them didn't win POV he would sacrifice himself for Heather. Like.... WHAT?!?!? I was like OHSHIT. Obviously I tried to convince him to win that POV, but he seemed mentally checked out to me. Not okay. However, Danielle also had to make nominations and I had to keep myself and Jessica safe. I've been working Danielle socially for a while now, to the point where she was the swing vote to keep me against her own alliance. So when it came to nominations, it was easy to keep myself off the block. I kept working that Danielle angle, and it worked hook line and sinker. She's not going to nominate me this week because she thinks the pair of us are incredibly tight. Leo and Nicole went up on the block, and I was simply fine with that. No sweat off my back.

[Luisa Zissman]

After the Power of Veto, Ryan and Danielle won. COLOR ME FUCKING SHOCKED. I'M JUST SPEECHLESS. ARE YOU GUYS ALL SPEECHLESS AS WELL?!?! I AM JUST, LIKE, FLABBERGASTED THAT RYAN AND DANIELLE WON THE POWER OF VETO I NEVER SAW THAT COMING! //sarcasm

Seriously, I am so fucking sick of Ryan and Danielle dominating these Power of Veto competitions. It's like, JESUS ENOUGH ALREADY. It feels so unnecessary for them to just like stomp around the house acting like they can win every fucking competition under the sun. It's get really bloody old really bloody fast. Those bitches cannot leave soon enough in my opinion.

So anyways, with regards to nominations, Ryan and Danielle obviously didn't veto either of their nominations. It would be stupid of them to make more enemies. The time for voting was upon us, with one of Heather and Caleb leaving and one of Leo and Nicole leaving. At first, the Heather/Caleb vote was super easy for me because I was just like "Caleb volunteered, so he's gone. Simple." The Leo/Nicole vote, however, was more complex. I was involved with both Leo and Nicole socially, and Leo was practically BEGGING me to keep him. He told me that I was his closest ally, and that it would be just wrong to vote him out. So I was thinking about keeping Leo around..

..But then shit completely exploded. Caleb decided to make a Hail Mary Pass to stay in the game. He was like "GUYS YOU HAVE TO KEEP ME TO HELP YOUR GAME!" And I was like duddeeee what the fuck. Because Heather and Caleb are my two closest allies. Crazy though they may be, I was like WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO. Well I knew that I had to at least tell Heather that Caleb was campaigning. In my opinion, I saw it as completely unfair that he would get time to campaign without her even knowing about it.

[Luisa Zissman]

After I told Heather about Caleb's strategy, at first she was such a mess. Homegirl was so devastated and talking about how she was completely betrayed. She was basically a walking ball of nerves and a total disaster zone. I had to coax her out of her sadness and told her that she HAD to start campaigning or she might as well just stuff up and leave the house. So her response was to propose a four way alliance with herself, me, Jessica, and Nicole. On the spot right there, we made a Girl's Alliance that vowed to stick together. It was genius for her and Nicole, because Jessica and I were kind of the swing votes for that vote. Donny and Jessie wanted to vote out Heather and Leo, while Matt and Victoria were gonna vote for Caleb and Nicole. But the thing was, Jessica and I had Donny and Jessie's votes on lock and we could've gotten them to flip any way. (Well, at least Donny. Jessie was kind of gone for a while at this point).

Anyways, enough with all the numbers bullshit. Leo and Caleb both left because I decided they were going to leave. Point blank, I was the swing vote during that round and mine and Jessica's votes held all the power. And I made the decisions. I made it appear as though other people played a role in the choice, but if I didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't have. Simple as that.

Bye Caleb and Leo!

I will miss Caleb by the way. Sure he was crazy, but he was my crazy and I loved every fucking second with him. After this game is over I am going to hunt him down and possibly make love to him.

[Luisa Zissman]

~WEEK 4~

So this week started out pretty damn crazy because Jessie was kicked out for inactivity. This.. was probably the least shocking thing to happen so far in this game? I hadn't seen Jessie for like practically forever, so it was time. I think Donnie was telling him how to vote through like confessionals and stuff, but it was time to cut that cord. Jessie was a complete sack and it was time for him to go. Nobody would have wasted an HoH week on him, so he would have easily made the jury stage. He wouldn't have deserved that at all if I'm being honest.

But anyways... Jessie's instant eviction (Ejection maybe?) meant that the pairs twist was finally over. HALLELUJAH! I mean, I totally predicted that this twist would last exactly 3 weeks way back during Week 1, so I feel completely vindicated that I was right AGAIN! I'm actually doing really well so far at having my finger on the pulse of this game at all times. And right now, it seems like a war is brewing. One side is Heather/Nicole/Jessica/me and Donny as an extra appendage versus Matt/Victoria/Ryan/Danielle. Since Ryan and Danielle both couldn't compete, we went into this HoH challenge with the mantra of WE WILL WIN! Especially Heather, who was shaking in her boots because of last week's eviction, went in with a ride or die attitude. Heather was going to fucking win that HoH or just die trying. That girl has heart like none other.

[Luisa Zissman]

We get to that HoH competition, and it was an endurance challenge on a surfboard. I was completely READY for this challenge because we've hit the jury portion of the game and everything's clicking into place. It's time to win or being at risk of going the fuck home. No way I'm going home this early, I'm way too sexy for that.

But at the surfboard challenge, I was like the second fucking person to fall off. I was literally SO PISSED at the time. I was ready to GO for hours on end, but unfortunately proboards was not ready for me to slay. Literally 40 minutes into my run proboards decided to ERROR 404 on me so that I missed my minute post. LIKE FUCK OFF PROBOARDS. If the Big Brother House allowed us to have weapons, I would have repeatedly stabbed proboards in the fucking face until it bled out. What a fucking asshole to screw me out of playing in the HoH competition. I WAS SO NOT HAPPY.

Luckily, I got to elegantly sit on the bench of the competition and watch QUEEN HEATHER slay everyone else. It was actually a brutal match up where Heather and Victoria both lasted more than 12 hours. One alliance versus another alliance. It was a huge fucking challenge, and I realized then and there that the course of this game might as well be decided by this challenge. Whoever was in power would definitely impact the game. AND HEATHER WON! Thank god she beat out Victoria for the win. I'm pretty much SURE that I would've been nominated by that stupid slunt Victoria, so Heather winning was a saving grace for me. I know that I'm safe for the week and I am feeling damn good.

[Luisa Zissman]

At the nomination ceremony, everything went as expected when Ryan and Matt were put up on the block. The two of them are kind of like the backbone of the opposing alliance, so it was the obvious choice for Heather to throw both of them up there. Apparently, neither of them even bothered trying to talk to her before the nominations. WHAT FUCKING NERVE! If you were HoH you can bet your ass I would be kissing your ass despite the fact that I hate your guts. It's not being fake, it's called good strategy. These boys frankly have none and it's why the pair of them are nominated and I'm not. Teeheehee.

However, we get to the PoV competition, and I was AGAIN not chosen to play. I haven't gotten to play in the power of veto competition since like week 1. It's so fucking frustrating. I know that it's the rules of Big Brother that only 6 people get to play in PoV, but I HATE those rules when it fucks me over and I don't get to compete. One way or another I will be competing in PoV competitions again, and it will be GAME FUCKING ON.

But since I couldn't compete, that fucking jackass Ryan won Power of Veto AGAIN. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!! I am literally spitting mad that this jerk continues to win PoV. From Week 1 to now, this bitch continues to WIN and WIN and WIN every PoV competition. Like it's so fucking awful to watch him win over and over again. I'm literally so fucking over this loser. Sure, he's a winner now, but I am going to get this bitch out sooner or later. If he thinks he's going to walk straight to the end of the game based solely on PoV wins, this douchebag has another thing coming. I'm already plotting for his backdoor next week. God willing that random.org keeps Ryan from playing either next week or F7, because it literally might be our only shot to take him out.

[Luisa Zissman]

OKAY I JUST LOST A REALLY LONG CONFESSIONAL BY CLICKING THE HOME BUTTON AND I AM FEED UP WITH CHRONICLING THIS WEEK IN BIG BROTHER.

Reader's Digest Edition:

--Victoria nominated because she's aligned with Matt and fuck that.
--Matt is the target because we hate him.
--Me/Jessica/Nicole are already a voting block of 3 for Matt.
--I got Donny's vote too because he's kind of like an out of the way appendage in this game.
--Danielle is voting with me too because she and I have a fluid relationship despite being on opposing alliances (and I suspect she's already aware Matt is completely doomed, so she's staying on the good side).

Simply enough, I have a lot of power in the game and I am not afraid to wield it to take out who I see fit to take out. I'm coming for all of these bitches and if they were smart, they'd come for me next. But they won't. I suspect they don't even know I'm playing this hard.

BYE MATT! *blows kiss sarcastically*

[Luisa Zissman]

~WEEK 5~

At the eviction, Matt went home because I have fucking power and that little bitch doesn't. HAHA GAME ON BITCHES. This basically strands Victoria and Ryan because they're totally on the outs and everyone doesn't talk to them. PWNT!

But then, like a puff of smoke, there was a FUCKING TWIST! BECAUSE GOD FORBID THIS GAME JUST BE STRAIGHTFORWARD! To be honest I'm so over all of these twists at this point. It's not really exciting to see the gameplay and strategy of the game week to week, but it's so much less exciting with all of the twists at this point. It's more clinical and less strategic at this point. That's just my opinion though so I'll just go sit down while the producers decide that I'm public enemy number one.

Anywho, the newest twist is a COMEBACK CHALLENGE. In this challenge, everyone who has ever been in this game, both evicted and present, gets to play in a challenge to compete for the right to return. If an evicted player wins, they return. If a present player wins, they get to choose which of the active evicted players gets to return. Basically, this one fucking challenge can decide the course of the game. It's kind of heavy and I think I'm going to need another post to discuss it. (And let's be real, I don't want to fucking type too much and LOSE IT ALL AGAIN) #stillbitter

[Luisa Zissman]

So the comeback challenge was actually wicked fucking hard. Like trying to take 3 dicks in your mouth hard. In my opinion, it was just impossible. Essentially, we each had 3 hours to spell out as many numbers in order as we possibly could. This challenge was really fucking hard for a lot of reasons. First, the SPELLING portion is difficult because like you can't just type out 69. You have to use pictures to spell SIXTY NINE. It's like so confusing. Also, it gets super tough later on because you're literally spelling out ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO. Like... FUCK THAT SHIT. Who has time to put ALL of those letters into a post? I'm far too lazy for this shit challenge.

But despite my better judgement, I braved the trouble and put some effort in to give the challenge a go. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS OPTIONAL. Gold Star to me for trying really. So I was actually feeling really good in the challenge and I kept marching along for about an hour or so and got myself up to 139. When I got to 139, I started to spell out 140 and realized that there's no "U" in 40. So I went back to my posts from a long time ago.... AND LOW AND BEHOLD, I FUCKING SPELLED 40 "F-O-U-R-T-Y". WHAT KIND OF FUCKING PEABRAIN CAN'T SPELL 40! I seriously feel like a fucking moron right now. I legitimately was trying in that competition, but once I saw that I fucked it up that royally I knew I was screwed. I had to go BACK to 40 and restart those, spelling all the 40s correctly, then count up from there. Basically, all of my posts from 40 to 139 meaning absolutely fucking nothing. 100 posts wasted on this shit. So after mindlessly counting up again, I gave up at roughly 2 hours in with 101 posts (a nod to my ICON Cruella de Vil <3). I was never going to win that shit anyways, so why break a sweat on that one? At that point, I just had to PRAY that Matt didn't come back because we literally just spent all of last week getting his bitch-ass out.

[Luisa Zissman]

When the results for the Comeback Challenge came in, it really wasn't even close since Jerry and Nathan ran away with the competition. I'm not REALLY surprised, since they had much more drive than the queen bitches still in the house. Like, we're still here and awesome and you guys aren't so whatever losers. Anyways, I'm just glad Matt wasn't in the running. He will forever be the loser who made the jury then didn't make the jury because someone returned lolpwnt. As for the returning player, IT WAS JERRY! The old guy managed to get it up long enough to smoke the competition! I'm indifferent to Jerry returning. We were always on good terms, but I'm not sure if we're like close allies. It's a wash though. It definitely is better than Nathan returning because he's much more of a wildcard. 

Anywho, now that the weird comeback shit was sorted out, it was time for the next HOH competition. The challenge was actually my favorite one yet, since we had to listen to voice clips of all the houseguests and match up the voices to the person. It was super difficult, but also a lot of fun. And I know all the people in this game really well from watching too much tv, so I knew I could BRING IT! Even with a proboards fuck-up (eyeroll), I carried on and did pretty damn well.

Unfortunately, it wasn't well enough. In an ironic twist of fate, the only question I got wrong was Ryan's voice. And Ryan ended up winning the challenge with 20 out of 20 correct. I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE IT ANGERS ME! I feel like in all of these fucking challenges I'm the bridesmaid. Second in this HOH comp, second in that POV comp, WHEN IS IT MY FUCKING TIME TO WIN? WHEN DO I GET TO BE THE FUCKING BRIDE? I AM SO SICK OF LOSING!

The worst part really is that Ryan is the person who beat me. With Ryan in control, more likely than not two members of my four clique alliance are going up on the block as punishment for voting out his ally last week. The worst fucking part is that Ryan is literally never around, so none of us even have a chance to talk to him. So we're going into this nomination ceremony fucked up the ass and COMPLETELY blind. I'm hoping that the fact that I've been somewhat of a low key player in challenges and socially so far will help him overlook me for some of the bigger targets in this game. But who fucking knows with that guy because he's literally a blank slate in terms of my interactions with him. Whatever, I can't fucking change it so BRING ON THE POV!

[Luisa Zissman]

Shockingly enough (NOT!), I was targeted by Ryan and put up on the block. I was put on the block next to Jessica, which sucks for me in a way. She was the only person that I knew without question of a doubt would use Veto on me if she won, so he basically stranded me on my own. However, it's fucking Jessica so it's not like she ever had a chance of winning veto anyways (I love you gurl, but seriously you suck at comps).

But really, the worst part of that entire veto ceremony was when at the end Ryan just flat out said "Jessica you're the pawn because I want Luisa out". I mean I fucking knew I was the target because I'm not an idiot, but it's just like a direct punch to the gut. All the air gets sucked out of you because it's like HOLY SHIT I'M ACTUALLY SO SCREWED WITHOUT VETO. I was expecting this kind of opposition to fuel my fire, but I'm not sure it actually fueled me. Obviously I still fucking hate Ryan like the little bitch he is, but I didn't like have a panic attack or decide "I AM GOING TO WIN FUCK YOU"! I think I was in such a state of shock over it all that I really couldn't feel anything, good or bad.

But naturally, because I'm a petulant child and a raging bitch, I went up to Ryan right after the veto and demanded to know why he put me on the block. Obviously I already like KNEW, but I wanted him to say it to my face personally instead of at the nomination ceremony addressed at Jessica. I wanted him to balls out tell me "Luisa I'm gunning for you and you would be gunning for me. Sorry, but that's the game." And I guess he DID say those things to me, but instead of treating me like a fellow player, he treated me like dog shit. I wanted to be treated like a fellow player, but instead he treated me like shit and put me in the lowest place. WHAT A FUCKING JACKASS! I knew he was going for me, but did he have to be so fucking rude? He's so disgusting it makes me SEETHE! If anything, I just want him not to win. I don't even care if I go home this week as long as I can make sure this asshole does not win the season. Period. Point blank.

[Luisa Zissman]

Alright, so let's talk about that Veto Competition. I'm still disappointed and fuming about it because I'm such a fucking moron. But let's backtrack and start from the beginning. First we had to choose players, and I actually got the Houseguest's Choice. I picked Heather because she was my only ally in the alliance not competing, so I figured WHY NOT. I hoped she would save me if she used it, but I wasn't really expecting it to be honest.

So basically going into it, I ~KNEW~ I had to win. Nobody was going to save me because it would put a huge target on their back. It's a risk nobody's willing to take for me, so it was time for me to NUT UP, stop getting 2nd place, and actually win a competition. When I saw the rules, I was like YES I'VE GOT THIS! The puzzle is actually also a game called Flow that I have spent hours playing on my iPod (most of the time while sitting on the toilet taking a shit). I was SO EXCITED going in because it's the type of puzzle I know and I had the drive to win. I HAVE TO GET THIS TO BE SAFE! But then I started the competition, everything was going great and I almost solved the puzzle... Until my hand slipped, fucking up my board badly and I had to restart it It pretty much doubled my time. I was so furious with myself because it was my own doing. I was just so nervous and excited about the challenge that my emotions just bubbled up and I couldn't keep my focus on the challenge as well as I should have. It's so frustrating to see your hopes slip away like that. 

But anyways, Heather won it and didn't save me. Like I said, I'm disappointed about it, but I'm at least happy it wasn't that douchebag Ryan who won. I hate that creep.

Also, just on a random note, I'm actually pretty sure Victoria's dead. I'm not sure she's signed into the board for like days and I have no idea if she's actually going to vote in the eviction. I hope she just like gets kicked out and I miraculously get to survive the round and everything is hunky dory ^_^. Sadly, though, my luck isn't that good and Victoria will probably show up at the last minute to vote my ass out. Tragic really.

[Luisa Zissman]

As for my voting strategy, I'm pretty much shit out of luck this time so I can kiss my dreams goodbye. There are 6 votes, or 5 votes if Victoria decides not to show up. Apparently Nicole and Heather are both on my side and voting to keep me, but Victoria (again if she's there), Donny, and Jerry are locked in votes against me. My only really hope is completely extreme circumstances. 

1) Victoria has to not show up
2) I have to convince Danni to keep me and I survive in a 3 to 2 vote.

I really tried my hardest to flip Danielle to give me a chance at survival, but I don't think she was buying it at all. We were close earlier on in the game, but the fact that we've been in opposing alliances for so long just drove a wedge between that can't be mended easily. I have the utmost respect for the girl, but I'm pretty positive she's about to vote my ass out.

I'm pretty much a goner, but at least I'm going to gain first juror status BABY! Right now I almost want Ryan at the end so that I can tear him a new asshole for all of his bullshit to leak out of. On the other hand, I would love for him to follow me out the door in 8th place! Wow I'm so petty and vengeful ^_^ I hope he gets some sort of repayment before this game is over, because the idea of him winning is just SUCH a letdown to me overall

Oh wellers, thanks for the great game hosties! Sorry I ended up flopping when my time came!

[Kat]

Thanks for playing Luisa We needed a queen