Diary Room

[Luisa Zissman]

~ WEEK 1~

THIS CAST AND THESE TWISTS ARE GIVING ME SO MANY FEELINGS THAT IT'S TIME TO START CHRONICLING THEM RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

[Luisa Zissman]

This game officially got started when we all got our keys to the house and checked ourselves into the house one by one. Eventually, everybody wandered their asses into the house and this game was READY to go.

Before any of the twists or challenges really began, everybody was already socializing and trying to feel out the other players. Like... that moment on Animal Planet when the cheetahs all circle each other waiting to pounce on the one with the broken leg. I am not gonna be the fucker with the broken leg. In fact, I'm not even gonna be a cheetah. I will be a fatass hippo who sits on everyone, strangling them to death so that I win the game. 

... Yeah that animal analogy went off the rails.

[Luisa Zissman]

So anyways, I'm going to give my quick first impressions of this cast that I had before the competitions and twists started.

Nathan, Donny, Jerry, Jessie, and Ryan are the ones that I didn't talk to at all prior to the competition. Let's hope they're not too boring to be honest.

Caleb - I am already falling head over heels for Caleb. He is a sex bomb, he's smart, he's funny. I need to watch myself around him because I'm sure if he asked me for a kidney and batted his eyelashes I couldn't say no. I do not want him to fuck up my game so I'm definitely going to have to keep my guard up around him. He is my King and I am his Queen. If Big Brother is anything like chess, we've got this on lock. ^_^

Heather - Such a sweetheart. She's adorable and fun to talk to and really sweet, but she's got a bit of a fierce edge to her personality. It's like when you're making a dessert with only sugar and it becomes so sweet you want vomit, but you add something tart and suddenly it tastes amazing. That's Heather's personality.

Chelsia - FierceBitch.Org. Other than myself, I think she's the person in the run for BITCHIEST BITCH of the season. I can tell from my interactions with her that she's a total cutthroat ruthless assassin. Since we're both so bitchy, the question is whether we'll work together or not. If we mesh, everyone else can pack their bags. If we hate each other, this will be a nuclear holocaust.

Leo - I forgot. Guess he made a boring impression on me.

Nicole - Seems like a nice girl. Kind of dull and lifeless. I could see myself reaching a breaking point with her at some point.

Matt - Cool guy. I can't really get a read on him though. I think he's going to go the under the radar route for a while. The question is whether he'll break out as a competitor or just fade away out of the game. Only time will tell.

Victoria - PRINCESS VICTORIA is going to be a slayer of men. We've already talked quite a few times and I get good vibes from her. She is a feminist warrior who wants to gun down the men with a smile on our faces while flipping our hair. I LOVE her idea and it would fuel my fire to form a giant alliance of women. I'm hoping we can make #PUSSYPOWER a thing some time this season.

Jessica - Cool chick who's fun to talk to. I'm not entirely sure if I trust her yet, but she's certainly not dull. I want to trust her more, but my gut tells me that she's the biggest cheetah in the jungle. If I don't sit on this bitch at some point she will probably march to a victory.

Danielle - Only person of color in this entire cast (*side-eye casting producers*). She's a force of a human being though. She's here to play, but she's not going to be an unbearable asshole in the process. She's not one of my top faves right now but I could see us growing together in time.

So... that's my assessment of my fellow players. I can't wait to read these after the season is over to see how I morph on people. I'm sure that I'm pretty much right about everyone and my superior social skills will lead me to an easy victory 

[Luisa Zissman]

We were all gathered as a group of 16 just hanging out before the tv screen popped up to tell us the twist for the season and start the new HOH competition. Everyone was actually saying things like "Woah 16 people!" and "Damn there's a lot of people!" and I thought nothing of it. I never watched any previous RNF season, so I just assumed they used 16 people all the time. Big Brother US does it too so I shrugged it off....

Until we were smacked in the face with a really fucking big twist. Seriously, this twist is probably bigger than every dick I've ever touched. It's such a monstrosity and it scares the shit out of me. Basically the gist is that everyone is randomly paired up with a partner. Each week, a pair wins HOH, nominates 2 other pairs, and 1 person from each pair leaves the house.

DOUBLE EVICTIONS EVERY FUCKING WEEK. WHAT THE BLOODY SHIT. Literally I don't see how this twist is sustainable longer than two weeks. It just doesn't make sense to me that at the end of Week 3 we could be down to 10 people left. That's nearly 40% of the cast packing so early. If I had to bet, Week 3 will proceed like weeks 1 and 2, but when the votes are cast only one person leaves. Or something like that. I don't know, I just feel like this shit can't last forever.

And with regards to the pairs, the random pairs gives you SO many variables. For example, I was given Monika as a partner, who I had never talked to prior to the twist. She's not a bad girl, but it's SO AWKWARD to be like thrust into this situation and forced to work with a person. I was like... eeeeek I hope she's not a crazy bitch.

[Luisa Zissman]

Going into the HOH competition, I obviously wanted to win. With this really messy twist and all the chaos it caused, I didn't even want to RISK being nominated or voted out. So I went it carefully thinking out every answer so that I could at least have a chance of winning..

So the results came up and there was a 5 WAY TIE FOR FIRST! 5 out of 8 couples tied for first lmao! It was a really hilarious thing because the entire HOH came down to a tiebreaker number where I made a sex joke. I was actually hitting myself for that one because I cost myself that HOH. Being the jokester ending being a bonehead move. But I stopped beating myself up once I saw that Heather and Caleb had won, because I love both of them and I was pretty confident neither one would nominate me.

However, like a half hour later I found out that the results of the HOH challenge were changed. I was actually sleeping in the house like the lady of leisure I am, so I didn't even know about it until some of the other houseguests told me... I WON HOH! FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!

I was seriously ELATED to be given the HOH. Safety from someone else winning HOH feels good, but winning your own HOH feels AMAZING. I have all the power and control for one week of this game. QUEEN LUISA snatched up her damn crown and I'm going to hold onto it for as long as I can. I AM THE QUEEN OF THIS HOUSE SO YOU BETTER BOW DOWN BITCHES. Everyone better be kissing my ass this week because frankly I am spending this week as the head bitch in charge of this place.

[Luisa Zissman]

Following the HOH competition, the next day Monika and I had to make our nominations. Funny thing, the first time we talked for more than 2 minutes was our strategy session on who to nominate. Like.. I find it completely hilarious that our only real interaction so far is getting our shit together long enough to decide our nominations.

Having said that, it was actually pretty easy. Our strategy for nominations was just sharing with each other who were considering nominating. Coincidentally, each of us had narrowed it down to 3 pairs.

Monika wanted one of Donry, Jessia, or Ryelle
I wanted one of Leole, Donry, or Jessia

So we just looked at our lists and decided that Donny & Jerry and Jessie & Chelsia would be our two nominated pairs. The strategy we really went with is that we don't want to create a power pairing. When two people go home, the remaining 2 become a new pair. We didn't want to risk two people becoming a pair, winning HOH next week, and sending us packing. That would fucking blow. So we chose two pairs where we felt that wouldn't be a problem.

Realistically, the only way this can bite us immediately is if one of the pairs wins the POV AND the next HOH competition. Maybe I'm underestimating everyone, but I just don't see how a pair is going to win back to back challenges in this early stage of the game. The competitions are all so different and such a crapshoot, it would take extreme luck for that to happen.

Also, I figured that Donny/Jerry had a better chance of becoming that power pairing who wins POV and goes for us, so I made sure that Monika was the one nominating them. That way, if they win HOH and gun for us next week and we lose the POV, they'll be more prone to keeping me and campaigning against Monika.

Yes I know Monika's my partner, but my concern is ME and ME ALONE. So yeah if I can get a leg up over someone I could potentially be nominated against in the future, I obviously will do so. I'm not a nice person and I won't pretend to be. So yeah, I'm basically a horrible bitch working against my partner while I'm working with her.... DAMNNN THIS TWIST IS REALLY COMPLEX FOR GAMEPLAY.

[Luisa Zissman]

Alright, so following the nomination ceremony, obviously I was trying not to stir up any drama or shit considering that I was the person standing up there with the gun firing the first shots of the game. So definitely the way I wanna play this is damage control.

With a lot of the fellow players, they came up to me and said they were relieved that I didn't nominate them, they thanked me, and blah blah blah more bullshit. They were kissing my ass hardcore, which I don't mind at all. Shower me with bullshit and make me feel like the QUEEN!

However, when it came to Donny and Jerry I felt that I had to go up to them and apologize for the nominations. Technically I wasn't the one to nominate, so it was actually pretty nice of me to apologize to them. It makes them think I might be nicer than I am. ^_^ But both of them were totally cool with me, they weren't really that upset at all to be honest. Makes me think they're savvier than I thought they were. Like... I would not be so calm cool and collected after being nominated. I WOULD BE HOT AND FIERY.

But yeah after that, I started to feel my power kinda slipping away. I couldn't put the fear of God in people anymore because they knew I hadn't nominated them. It's so depressing. They always talk about the amazing feeling of winning, but nobody talks about losing the power. It blows. I want to win HOH every week so I never have to lose that feeling of power. I don't even care that it's not possible I'm the queen I should make the rules *hairflip*

[Luisa Zissman]

During that POV competition, of course I wanted to fucking win. I'm not going to lose. That would just be lame. Monika's the same way though, so we both went in with a plan so that we could NAIL this challenge. And... we didn't. During the puzzles, Monika cost us a few minutes by not X-ing out the pop-up, so she had to change it before we could go back and do the maze.

But I couldn't even be mad at her because I botched it SO much worse. When I cropped the mazes together, I fucked up in glorious fashion and the maze was horribly uneven and you couldn't see the middle lines. So when I went through the maze I was actually trying to go through the black lines (<3).   DOESN'T THIS MAZE GET THAT I AM QUEEN LUISA FOR A WEEK AND THAT THE LINES SHOULD MOVE FOR ME?!?!? Mazes don't even make sense to me because in real life, I'd just order my private helicopter to airlift me out of a maze. I mean duh, isn't that what everyone would do?

So yeah I fucked up and we lost. But both of our nominees didn't even finish their competitions, so we somehow got 2nd place with the fuck-up (lol). Ryan and Danielle won the POV. I don't know what they're going to do with it. If they do use it though, I'll be pretty fucking pissed. That'd basically just be like a HAHA FUCK YOU MONISA! YOU HAD TO SCREW OVER 4 PEOPLE, SO NOW FUCK OVER 2 MOAR! Like, I don't want 6 out of 16 people in this cast to hate me after week fucking one. As you can tell, I'm clearly fucking stressed about the upcoming power of veto ceremony. If they decide to use it on Jessie and Chelsia, I personally have to make a new nomination and piss more people off. But seriously though if they use it I'm going to be so pissed. Heather's gonna have to hold me back so I don't punch them in the face.

Speaking of Heather, she is really my homegurl in this game moreso than anything. She's the person I've been talking game with the most and I love her. Our personalities just click and she's a blast to be around. We're not an official alliance right now, but she's one of the few people I've discussed voting strategy with. I don't even get a fucking vote (BULLSHIT), but it's important to be part of these discussions anyways. I need to get my finger on the pulse of the house, especially early on. To be honest though, I'm not terribly worried about voting because given these nominations, I would expect Jerry and Chelsia to leave. Chelsia is a given, but Donny/Jerry would be the tougher choice. But only one gross ugly guy can stay I guess. Big Brother is for the pretty people!

[Luisa Zissman]

Because Ryan and Danielle don't have a death wish, our (really, my) nominations have remained the same. ^_^ I'm not really surprised, it would be really fucking stupid to piss the Queens off on the first vote.

As far as I'm aware, Chelsia is a lock to leave the game. Bitch is more dead than an electrified fish. Donny/Jerry is more up in the air, but last I heard Donny's campaigning is working to keep him around.

More comprehensive DRs will appear once I'm done with my final paper/studying for finals. Just wanted to quick post this to prove I'm still keeping up on this game.

[Luisa Zissman]

So I'm just going to point out that I was TOTALLY right about how the vote was going to go down. I said that Donny and Jessie were most likely staying, and it happened in a total landslide of voting. I'm not really all that surprised and I didn't have much to do with those results strategically, but I'm glad to know that my fingers are on the pulse of this game. So yeah, with the evictions of Jerry and Chelsia my power is gone, and it is time to give up my HOH key and move on to Week 2.

[Luisa Zissman]

~WEEK 2~

So the HOH competition was some weird-ass key searching shit that sounds like WAY too much work for me. Luckily enough, I didn't have to compete because I was the outgoing HOH. Normally I'd be pissed that I can't compete, but it looked SO HARD so I'm glad I got to sit out of the competition looking mad sexy in my cocktail dress. I'm such a queen I don't have to do anything for myself at this point.

The winners of the competition came down to Leo/Nicole and Heather/Caleb, and I was honestly looking forward to Heather/Caleb winning so I could be TOTALLY SAFE. But Leo and Nicole won, so I was a bit worried. I don't know why to be honest, but I haven't been like SUPER CLOSE to them. But it doesn't matter because they kept us safe. THANKS GUYS!!

[Luisa Zissman]

The Power Of Veto competition this week was an awful experience for me. Given that I wasn't HOH and I wasn't nominated, my plan was to relax and lay around without doing anything. Unfortunately, this didn't really work out at ALL because I was randomly chosen to compete in the POV. Like I know I'm completely fabulous and probably the most interesting person in the game, but is it REALLY necessary for me to compete in like everything? I THINK NOT! So I definitely took inspiration from Kathy and TOOK MY TIME ON THIS ONE. I honestly don't think that I'm going to be a replacement nominee if one of the nominees wins POV, so there's really no need for me to win. Plus, if I win everyone's just going to see me and Monika as bigger threats. NO THANKS. I'm taking my time. *shrug*

[Luisa Zissman]

OKAY I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TRIED HARDER IN THAT POV COMPETITION!

So apparently, there's been a group consensus all week from Ryan/Danielle and others that Donsie should have been nominated for eviction. But they weren't so Danielle should have put on her fucking big girl panties, sucked it up, and dealt with it later in time. But nooooo! The fucking bitch won POV and decided to "test" Leo and Nicole. Basically her goal was to prove that Leo and Nicole are definitely aligned with Donny and Jessie by using the veto and seeing what they'd do next. WHICH IS A FUCKING TERRIBLE MOVE. I really hate the way she played this. She was basically egging on Leo and Nicole to nominate someone random and fuck people over. I thought Danielle was a nice person I could trust, but the bitch is TOTALLY crazy.

[Luisa Zissman]

But also I hold Nicole responsible for this shit as well. Why the fuck would she put ME up? HOW DARE SHE?!?!?!? But I'm more likely to forgive Nicole in this scenario because homegurl has promised me her tiebreaker vote in the event of a tie. If she's lying about that, then I can call her out on it publicly before I walk out the door LOL! But seriously this vote campaigning shit is making me nauseous.

With regards to trying to get votes, I haven't been pushing too hard because I am confident in the relationships that I've built with other people. However, that's easier said than done. I'm confident in the votes that I have, but the problem is that given no campaigning, I would stay and she would leave. So Monika is making waves and creating fictional drama for the sake of shoving me under the bus. She's all like "HEY DANIELLE LUISA SAID SHE HATES YOU" and "HEY DANIELLE JESSIE TOLD ME HE'S KEEPING ME". Like BITCH SHUT UP neither of those things is true! Right now it actually looks like Danielle could be my 5th vote to stay (along with Heather/Caleb/Jessie/Donny), so I'm really pushing the "MONIKA IS SHADY" element. Like, bitch is tearing into her ally right now so imagine what she'd do to you on a bad day. It's a simple marketing strategy, but an effective one: "I'M LESS CRAZY THAN MONIKA SO KEEP ME SLUTS". Let's just pray it works out.

[Luisa Zissman]

Monika's drama is FLOPPING, but obviously I'm still worried since it's most likely going to be a 5-3 vote in my favor. Two votes swing the other way, and I'm totally fucked up the ass. So I definitely said some goodbyes prior to the vote. I just wanted to make sure Heather and Caleb knew how much I love them. In this disgusting house full of lies and deception, they're the two beacons of light I can sit down with and have a blast. They are the people I care most deeply for in this game, so I had to make SURE they knew how much I love them. If I go out, I'm definitely rooting for those two to blase it to the final two.