Post by Heather on Jan 8, 2015 14:10:20 GMT -5
Jan 8, 2015 0:42:03 GMT -5 Heather said:
I'm trying to think of what to say so that I don't come across as disingenuous, and I realize that it's probably impossible but I figured what the hell. I fully expect to go on the block this week so this isn't a plea or anything. You're a fierce competitor and I have to say that I'm in awe of it. I'm not used to playing with anyone who's that consistently good and so regardless of what happens at least it's something new right? LOL.I'll fight for the Power of Veto but heck, at this point I don't even know. I do kind of want to explain my perspective on how things have been playing out since we went singles though. I'm not sure why but it does bother me how the vast majority of the evicted cast seems to despise me. I don't think I'm a fake person at all and so the perception hurts, although I guess I can understand why people have that perception of me. The first round that you were Head of Household, the round that you won with Danni, Danielle actually proposed that she and I work together "cross-sides." This was after the first convo that you and I had where we spoke about the house meeting and how all of the threats were getting taken out and that it was shaping up to be a floater centric endgame if things stayed constant.
When I told Danni that I'd actually spoken with you about that she seemed surprised (I originally thought that she was gonna propose a deal with you and her and maybe Nic and me, but she told me at that point that she "wasn't even that close with you.") Danni told me that she would investigate though and see if it was a genuine thing (your interest in working with me) or if you were just covering your bases in the event that I won Head of Household. After apparently speaking with you she told me that you said that I was the one who approached you (which that conversation, it had been you who brought the whole thing up actually) and that you "half" believed me but also knew that I was simply trying to save myself and "would say anything to advance myself in the game." Hearing that kind of hurt because I had actually been excited about the prospect of potentially working with you. You were one of my favorites to talk to at the beginning and I told Caleb that many times. Based upon first impressions I wanted to work with you and Luisa the most. It's funny how things end up so differently. Funnily enough Danielle was someone who I had bad vibes about immediately in the game but spoke to a lot later on in spite of it. My inclination would have been to have a deal with you and not her, but it sort of went the opposite as the game progressed.
When you made that deal with me going into the Final Nine I was completely sincere in my acceptance of it and I was honestly pleasantly surprised. Danielle did tell me to throw the Veto that round though which I thought was very strange... I'm not sure if she thought that I'd use it on Luisa or what but it still gave me weird vibes and I started to sort of feel like I was being played by her around that time. Anyway, my intentions, pure or not at that point, are certainly moot now. Nicole won Head of Household and put you up. Obviously she and I are allies and I didn't do anything to dissuade her from going back on things so I'm definitely not some martyr. I was simply passive and I let it happen, because even though I don't know that I'd have had it in me to put you up had I been in that situation, she did make a lot of game sense in her thought process. I do think that had I pushed too hard against the idea of nominating you that it would not have gone over well with anyone but still, no excuses... just trying to sort of offer my perspective I guess. I will admit that the jump from 9 to 7 made the walls seem a lot closer in than before, but I did give you my word and I'm sorry that I didn't do more for you. I'm sure that you must feel very alone in this game right now and I empathize with your plight whether you believe it or not.
Lastly I do want to say that I am pretty devastated at how Danielle left. I will look forward to clearing the air with her once things end. I have a lot of questions for her and I'm sure she has plenty for me as well. Regardless of what she believes I was in her corner, even in spite of being wary of her recently. She seemed to be very convinced otherwise but last round was a mess on a lot of levels and I wish that everything had happened differently.
Anyway, you're a good dude Ryan and I know that you have to do what you have to do. No hard feelings and congrats on earning your spot in the Final Five.
- Heather
Jan 8, 2015 9:52:10 GMT -5 Ryan said:
Hey no problem at all. Thanks for sending me this. Nobody else has cared to say anything or even congratulate me on winning. I know I’m at the bottom of the house. Even when I sign online most of the house doesn’t bother to message me. You do most of the time so I thank you for that at the very least.Danni and my relationship was an odd one. We worked well together in competitions during the pair stage and we had a mutual understanding that we’d go and say what we had to in order to survive with other people. I think we both knew that even though we were together, that we were still competing for the same prize. I don’t fault her for going to you with that deal without my knowledge. In fact I suspected it when you didn’t put her up as the replacement the week I took myself down, but even earlier when she wasn’t being as head on during the house meeting like the rest of her allies. She was cleverly playing the field (unlike Matt and I lmfao).
I wish I saved logs to go look back to because I don’t remember ever saying “no” to the idea of us 4 (you, me, Nicole, and Danni) working together. I do remember saying I was cautious as this was almost right after the house meeting, because I felt that at the house meeting you and Caleb were trying to do anything to get the targets off yourselves which equated to me feeling that you’d do or say anything you could. But it’s not anything I didn’t say to you directly either. From what it appears, it seems Danni was trying to keep the wedge between us. Ironically I did try to push for that deal when I was HOH again and was going to be 100% loyal to it until we whittled down the floating numbers.
Again I don’t feel as hurt or whatever by you than I do with Nicole. I know this is a game but I feel like overly promising things can be a bit much. I remember you saying Nicole was worried about what would happen this week when she won HOH and didn’t nominate me, but I still had others to nominate whom I didn’t have or don’t have any deals with. I feel like she only sped up the process because my hand feels forced in that I have to put you both up now even though this is what I wanted to avoid with the deal I made last round. But this is BB so I shouldn’t be surprised when things don’t go as planned lol!
Jan 8, 2015 10:59:24 GMT -5 Heather said:
For sure, it's funny how we as people can overthink things to such an extent that we end up in a position that we were originally trying to avoid! I'm sorry that no one else has congratulated you, that must feel very awkward for you and if it was me I'd feel hurt. I would have said something in the results thread but figured it would have seemed not so authentic to anybody. Lastly with Danni during that house meeting I remember making a comment about how she was going to win the game because of how diplomatic and PC she was being... she didn't like that at all if I recall lmao. She's a great player though I give her major props. I'm only surprised that she didn't go a lot further.I do feel bad for the guy. I'm trying to be as genuine as I can be with Ryan without compromising my loyalty to Nicole. The truth is that without Ryan here the target on my back would probably be a lot bigger... this game is really hard.
